Plans we can make

Things we could all put in place to make it easier for our loved ones when we die

Death is not an easy topic to discuss. The thought of our own mortality is difficult to face. The death of someone we love can be hard to bear, and support services are there. Every bereavement is unique, and every bereavement matters.

Making future plans, planning ahead, can help us to concentrate on supporting each other and to help deal with the situation, rather than having to think about practicalities and make important decisions after loved ones have died.  Putting things in place can help us to explore our options and find out exactly what is possible.  This can help us to make informed choices.

It can be distressing for those of us left behind if our loved ones do not leave any last wishes or final requests. Below are suggestions of what to consider before we die, making future decisions easier for our loved ones.

• Have you considered making a will. A will lets you decide what happens to your money, property and possessions.
• Get information and advice on funerals
• The ‘My Funeral Wishes’ form from Dying Matters allows you to record and share your funeral wishes. It may also help you to think about what your wishes would be.
• Would loved ones know how to access bank account details?
• Do they know what income you have and what outgoing bills need to be paid? Personal bank accounts are frozen when the bank has been notified of a death. This means that standing orders or direct debits being paid from the account will be stopped. This could leave loved ones without access to any money
• Consider digital photographs, videos and social media accounts – these can become treasured memories and possessions for the people that are left behind. Favourite photographs, family holidays, special places or meaningful text and email messages that you treasure could be lost.

Midlife review resource has been developed locally to help people plan for later life.  Use this resource to help you look at a number of areas including bereavement.

Preparing for ending well – End of life choices

Where would you choose to be cared for at the end of your life?  It is a difficult question to think about… Reading these resources with our loved ones may help us to discuss what we feel is in each other’s best interests. It can also make it easier to discuss our wishes with your GP and healthcare professionals. Sharing this information may help you to feel in control.

Time to say goodbye

Planning for the end of our life can help those who are left behind to grieve well. Pre-bereavement advice that may help us to cope with difficult days is available from the Good Grief Trust

Macmillan offers information on supporting someone who is dying so that you can know what to expect at the end of life and know where you can get support from.

Marie Curie offers a free-to-download booklet on caring for a loved one while they are dying at home. It is supported by online videos for all the practical steps involved in caring. It also contains helpful information from benefits advice, as well as what to look out for as you care for your loved one.

Mary Stevens Hospice offers an advice and support line 7-days a week from 8am to 4pm 01384 445417. 

Dementia – if your loved one is dying and has dementia the Alzheimer’s Society has information on end of life care for someone in the later stages of dementia.

Learning disability – if you are caring for someone with a learning disability to access appropriate palliative care, the PCPLD network has more information.